


Skewed Results

by Irekyn



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Established Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Fluff, Johnlock Fluff, M/M, kinda OOC but it's cute, teeth rotting fluff, they get a hold of a helium tank
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-06
Updated: 2014-05-06
Packaged: 2018-01-23 17:44:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1574180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irekyn/pseuds/Irekyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It’s helium. I am conducting an experiment on the effects of it on the human voice from continual use for over an hour.” “Well, it affects everyone differently. You’ll get skewed results if you only do it on yourself, right?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Skewed Results

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was based off of a post on tumblr which can be found here: http://sherlocck.tumblr.com/post/81589522276/omgomg-ok-so-sherlock-gets-a-helium-tank-for-an
> 
> If you're unable to open that link, this was the basic premise:  
> "omgomg ok so sherlock gets a helium tank for an experiment but he and john just end up using all of it to make their voices dumb and try to say serious things in really high voices and then falling on each other and laughing and then they snog and john leans over to take another breath of helium while sherlock's not looking and he kisses him really sweetly and then john (in his funny voice) goes "sherlock. i love you." and sherlock dies laughing bYE"
> 
> Also, for some reason I found this fic hard to write in-character, so I apologize for any OOC-ness you might come across. 
> 
> Also I'm American and this is not Brit-picked, so I also apologize for any failed colloquialisms.
> 
> Other than those minor things, I think it came out really well! Enjoy.

John cracked open an eye and stared up at the streaks of light splayed across the ceiling. He turned over, his brow furrowed. He awoke several hours earlier than his normal sleep pattern, and that was something he was not wont to do. He flopped back to continue his sleep when a sound caught his attention.

_Pssh._

He threw his covers off and stalked to his closet. He threw on a pair of trousers and a jumper before storming his way down the stairs, into the kitchen.

On the table stood a short tank, next to which Sherlock leant over a piece of paper, writing.

“What’s that?” John asked, gesturing to the tank. Sherlock jumped at the sudden interruption, having not heard John enter, and set his pencil down.

“It’s helium. I am conducting an experiment on the effects of it on the human voice from continual use for over an hour.”

“Well, it affects everyone differently. You’ll get skewed results if you only do it on yourself, right?”

Sherlock huffed and glared at John, but his face betrayed the fact that he’d left out that variable by accident. John suppressed a triumphant smirk and sidled up next to his boyfriend.

“Why don’t you be my second test subject, then,” Sherlock suggested, as he dropped the glare and gave John a heated look . “Fill a balloon first and inhale from that, not directly from the tank.”

“Fine,” John said. He took a step towards the helium tank as Sherlock drew an extra column on his data sheet. He picked up a balloon lying next to the tank, filling it with a short burst of helium. He inhaled half the contents.

“Wait, what do I say?” he squeaked, and immediately cracked up at his own voice. He took a moment to listen to his own laugh before doubling over, having registered the fact that his laugh is high pitched as well.

Sherlock just looked at him, the corner of his mouth quirking up. He stamped it down and wrote something down on the paper. “Just continue talking normally.”

“Alright, but it’s your turn.”

Sherlock snatched the half-empty balloon from John and sucked the last of the gas from it.

“The purpose of this experiment-,” he cut off when John started laughing maniacally. He tried to ignore him, “is to- John!” Sherlock grinned at his partner’s laughing before continuing. “is to- because most people only,” He let out a few small giggles, “do it for a few minutes.”

John wiped his eyes. “So, you want to see what happens after a longer time?” John’s voice had returned to normal and he leaned over to grab the balloon out of Sherlock’s hand, refilling it on the tank. He sucked in another hit of helium.

“Precisely,” Sherlock squeaked. John cracked up and leaned over the table to support himself.

Sherlock moved to write something else down when John spoke again.

“What exactly are you writing down?” Sherlock broke his pencil mid-sentence, shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter.

“Nothing now,” he stole the balloon back from John.

“How long have you been doing this?” John asked. They both grinned at each other.

“Half an hour,” Sherlock replied, immediately bursting into a fit of sniggers, which John joined in.

“And?”

“The- the only change was you.”

“What’s your conclusion so far?” John asked, voice back to normal yet again. _Well, it certainly doesn’t last long, does it?_

“I might need more data,” he winked at John before turning to write something down again. John doesn’t ask where the new pencil came from.

“Shouldn’t another case have come up by now?” John asked, trying to peer over Sherlock’s shoulder at what he was writing.

“Ah, yes, Lestrade called earlier, but it was boring and this is more fun.” His voice back to his usual low baritone, he seized the balloon from John yet again and drew in the remaining helium.

“Lovely.” John refilled the balloon and inhaled from it again. “Let’s play a game.”

“A game?”

“Yes, we have to say really serious things and the other cannot laugh.”

“Child’s play.”

“That’s what you think,” John muttered, “double homicide.”

The corner of Sherlock’s mouth twitched but he didn’t laugh. “Phrases don’t count. Also, we’re out of milk.” John smiled but stayed silent.

“Get the bloody milk yourself!” John pressed his lips together in a firm line, and Sherlock mimicked him.

Sherlock inhaled more of the helium before continuing. “The case Lestrade called about was another homicide, obviously. It was boring, I solved it in 2 minutes over the phone.”

“Jesus, don’t say homicide,” he bit his bottom lip.

“Homicide. Homicide homicide!” Sherlock beamed at him.

John looked away and bit his lip harder, “Cause of death?”

Sherlock stared John straight in the eye, “The victim was an internet porn addict. He refused to pay a live-streaming performer several weeks ago.”

“ _He was murdered by a porn star?!_ ”

“ _Yes!_ ” Sherlock exclaimed. He bursted into a fit of laughter the same moment as John, grabbing the shorter man’s shoulders to keep himself up. John tilted his head to the side, smiling, and looked at Sherlock expectantly.

Sherlock grinned back at him. He leaned down and pecked John on the lips, the last few huffs and giggles escaping into the shared space between them. John closed his eyes and gave in to the sensation, playfully nipping back at Sherlock’s lower lip. Neither man pushed for anything more, and enjoyed the simple affection they drew from the other's lips.  Sherlock pulled back.

He wrote something else down, and John guessed it didn’t have anything to do with the current experiment. The half-empty balloon was still in his hand, and he turned away. He inhaled the last bit of gas before he snuggled up next to Sherlock.

John pulled Sherlock down to meet him and kissed him deeply- much unlike the previous, chaste kisses. He gasped, licking Sherlock’s lower lip before drawing back.

He looked at Sherlock’s blushing, flustered face. “Sherlock, I love you,” John chirped, the helium having the exact effect he wanted. Sherlock laughed, snorting out an obnoxious guffaw and steadying his weight on John’s shoulders.

“I can’t- _I can’t stand_ \- my knees!” He wheezed out between laughs. John snickered at Sherlock and tried to hold him up, his face pressed into the crook of the detective’s neck. The force of his laughter took the strength from his body and they both went crashing to the floor in a pile of tangled limbs and giggles.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope I delivered with this one! I had a good time writing it, and I hope you all had a good time reading it. I'm still a fairly new writer so any constructive criticisms and comments are appreciated.


End file.
